THA SHOW

Here's a wee poem I wrote a few years ago about the Balmoral Show.

THA SHOW

Ilka May, thar’s twathie days whan kintra cums tae toon
An tha fairmin fowk o Ulstèr, lea hairth an hame ahint
It’s tha big Show at Balmoral, Bilfawst is whaur it’ at.
Sae gin ye hinnae bin afore, gae alang an see whut’s whut.

Thar’s traictors by tha dizzen, Massey Ferguson an John Deere
Pues an combine hairvisters – By Sowl, it’s aa here!
Thar’s aye sim weelads thonner (an ithers no sae wee)
Hingin roon tha stauns lik cleggs the’ ir, the’ dinnae want tae lea.

Whan ye hae yir fill o motòrs, hae a luk at aa tha bastes
Wi tups and yowes, an pïgs an soos, thar’s simthan fer aa tastes
Thar’s stirks an kye (sim moilies) nannie goats an coalie dugs
Turkeys, geese an banties, an a lock o doos an deuks.

An dinnae lee oot tha pownies, an brood meers wi foals in haun
Thar’s yearlins in tha showin ring, ach shure tha nivver staun
Thar’s trade turn-oots, cobs an Airish Draughts, side-seddle clesses an aa
An owre in tha Warkin-Hunnèr ring - thar’s aye a wheen tha’ faa.

Whaure’er ye luk thar’s ridin breeks, ir tweeds an Barbour jaickit
Wattèr buits, dunchers, tairtan shirts – fer fairmin thon’s tha ticket.
Fer aa them bastes ir gien a wash, thar’s aye sim dung aroon
Sae as y'ir gaun atweesht tha rings, tak guid tent whaur ye pit yer shune.

Mine, whan y'ir gaun roon as weel, tae use yer een an lugs
Fer fowk ir aye gaun aff tae see sim men aboot sim dugs!
Ye’ll affen hear sim quare guid crack, an mebbe mak a dale
Ir larn hoo tae bring tha barley in, an whit tae dae wi kail.

An aa ye sing’l menfowk, tak a luk at tha kintra quaens
Ye cud dae waur nor a fairmin lass, an ye’ll no leeve oan baked beans!
An whit aboot youse weeminfowk, gin yir oot tae cleek the yeir
Hae ye seen them boul big fairmers, wi thar shoodèrs oot tae here?

Sae whutivver taks yer fancy, jist tak yersel aff thonner
An gie a thocht tae tha fairmer, whan neist ye mak tha dïnner
Fer he growes tha craps an rares tha mate tae feed oor sins an dochters
An it’s fowk like him tha’ mine tha lan fer ithers tae cum eftèr us.